YAY!!

I am so proud of myself! When I got on the scale yesterday, it read "210lbs" and I almost died! I really hope I can stay on track and get to my "180lbs" goal! When I reach my goal weight, I'm going to buy new clothes and accidently run into Quilter and Bi-Sexual Boyfriend! SHOWTIME SYNERGY!

BENNY

My older brother told me today that my nephew (and godson) Benny joined the Navy on Friday! It really comes as quite a shock for me--simply because I realized that next month he graduates high school and that he's no longer my baby nephew. This is probably a good decision for Benny because it will allow him to get his education, serve his country, and see the world. Wow! Time really does fly by, doesn't it? I think I am going to have a going away party for him when he leaves (which will be in August). Please do not interpret the above picture as an "anti-America" stance--I just thought it was cool.

1985

The beautiful picture on your left is from an upcoming new limited series from Marvel Comics called 1985. I remember the 80's so well, because they were hard years for me. I was so lonely, yet determined to put on a "happy face" because that's what the world wanted to see. I had gained a lot of weight, my family was dealing with my older brother's drinking problem, I was becoming more withdrawn, and I was starting to realize that I wasn't into girls. My only friends were horror movies and my comic books: X-Men, Avengers, The New Teen Titans, and The Legion of Super-Heroes. Reading those books somehow made me feel special--as if I was the only outsider allowed into their secret world. I love my comics, folks. I always will.

T-Shirt!

I've made a decision. I'm going to forget about my Green Lantern t-shirt and just let the Quilter keep it. Why? He needs it more than I do. The symbol of the Green Lantern Corps stands for a lot of things: bravery, honesty, loyalty, and always doing the right thing. I thought I was afraid to see him, but that's not it--he needs it more than I do.

Long Live the Legion!

I miss the Legion of Super-Heroes.

SIGH

Today was a really hard day for me. Yes, before you even say anything--I was thinking about the Quilter again. Fuck! When am I going to fucking move on with my life? My heart just really feels raw and something is preventing me from moving on. I just don't know what it is. ______ is really being so sweet and supportive. He really wants to make our relationship work, and I should too, because he is a good man who loves me very much. I love him as well, but why doesn't my heart skip a beat whenever I think about _____? We've been together almost 10 years and I have NO clue how to maintain passion or romance with _____. I know that I am very depressed and have been for the last year. I just have so many issues that I need to confront, but a part of me is too afraid to.

Plus, the Quilter still has my Green Lantern t-shirt and I want it back. He is NO Green Lantern.

Hellbent

I demand HELLBENT 2!

FAMILY TIES

I really hope that all of you comic book fans out there took my advice and bought yourselves a copy of NOBLE CAUSES, which happens to be one of my favorite titles on the market today. A few days ago I posted a picture of Celeste Noble, so today I thought I would introduce all of you to her ex-husband--Rusty Noble. Rusty was the powerhouse of the Noble family until his body was destroyed in battle. Rusty's father was able to transfer Rusty's mind into a robot body and Rusty remains a valued member of the Noble Family.

Not Much

Alex brought over this awful gay horror movie last night called IN THE BLOOD--what shit! I'm so starved for gay horror I am willing to watch anything at this point! After the movie, the boys and I went out for a drink or two at our local night club. You're going to be shocked when I say this, but I had a lot of fun! There was a drag show (ugh, they were terrible!) and the DJ was playing a lot of good music. However, I realize that I only paid $5 to get in, but fuck! Turn on a fan or the damn air conditioner for a minute!

PAUL'S MAN

I know some of you are going to be shocked by this statement, but I will say it anyway: I am a jealous person. With that being said, I have never really cared for any of Paul's boyfriends. In my own petty way, I thought they were either too young, too cha-cha flamboyant, too concerned about money and appearances, and most importantly--they also took Paul away from me. I used to joke with Alex about how long we thought his relationships were going to last!

About last August, Paul started mentioning this guy he had met named Chris. I didn't really know what to think at first, because Paul seemed really happy and I became a bit of a bitch. I mean, here I am in my own relationship drama--and some stranger is taking one of the people I love most away from me. Over time, I eventually met Chris and I discovered that I really liked him. Both Chris and I love horror movies, Project Runway, and most importantly--we both love Paul. Pretty soon I found myself asking Paul when I was going to see Chris again.I hope their relationship never loses that special glow that it has now. I miss that glow in my own life. But, I am glad that Chris and Paul still glow.

TIMBER WOLF

My favorite member of THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES is Timber Wolf--who I will now admit to probably being my first crush. Timber Wolf wasn't the smartest Legion member and he certainly wasn't the most powerful, but I loved the fact that he loved Light Lass (who later dumped him!) and was always quick to lose his temper when his friends were in danger. Plus, he was cute and had a hairy chest!

BFF

Just wanted to share a picture of my two very best friends in the entire world--Alex and Paul. I love you guys!

NOBLE CAUSES

Hey gang! With the prices of comic books increasing, there are certain titles which I am going to be forced to drop (Batman and The Outsiders, Fantastic Four, Wonder Woman, and probably Young X-Men). There is one title that is (sort of) re-launching tomorrow--NOBLE CAUSES and I would really like all of you to buy issue #32 and give this title a try. Noble Causes is the story of the super-heroic Noble family and the threats they face from villains and within their own family! Imagine characters from Days of Our Lives with powers! This book rocks! Pictured here is Celeste Noble--the Heather Locklear of the group! She's the ex-wife of Rusty Noble and they divorced because she was having sex with his brother!

DON'T DATE THIS MAN!

I am so petty. I know it. This is probably the lowest thing I've done (well, since dating the Quilter), but I found this AWFUL picture of the Quilter and wanted to share it with you. Personally, I really think the shirt should say "DICK", but what do I know? I know Paul will not approve of this, but I know that Alex will--so I feel okay by putting it in my blog. Geez, I can't stop laughing at how bad he looks here!

By the way, I lost another pound this week--giving me a grand total of 11 lbs lost! Woo!

Imagine

Do you remember when last week I said I was going to stop talking crap about the Quilter? Well, fuck all that! I'm always trying to be the bigger person, but what good does it do me? I'm left with all of this pain while he continues to live peacefully with Bi-Sexual Boyfriend. Where is the justice in that? Don't I get to tell him off in some classic soap opera fashion? Or throw a drink in his face and say something witty? That craptastic night club didn't even play some cool song when I walked in the door! So, here is the challenge: You will give me the perfect ending to my catching Quilter and Bi-Sexual Boyfriend at the club. Assume the role of me and make me fierce and tough and help me tell him off!!

MEN!

Let's face it. There are just some people that we are just naturally attracted to because of how they look and we really could give a fuck about their inner beauty. Do I have a type? Sure I do! Men are beautiful creatures who are meant to be admired and looked upon. Last night, my friends and I went out dancing--and besides the club being incredibly boring, there was not one person there who I would consider to be my type, but there was some attractive guys there. My type is as follows:

1. Please be tall--in fact, the taller the better!

2. I've always thought that I only liked "white" guys, but I no longer think that is true. I'm open to whatever in my old age.

3. Brown hair and brown eyes are a plus. Bald is also sexy.

4. Please be a jock! I have NO interest in sports, but I seem to love the guys that wanna talk about sports all day.

5. You have to be able to pick me up in your arms! Nothing turns me on more than a man who can pick me up and carry me away. So, big arms and legs are a plus!

6. Please look like one of my comic book characters.

7. Be a little cocky--I sorta like arrogant guys.

8. Please don't suffer from anal leakage or date bi-sexuals. I have to insist upon this.

9. Although everyone is looking at you, have eyes for only ME.

10. Have nice teeth and DO NOT SMOKE.

Um..

Hey gang! Geez, let me be the first to tell you all that the new PROM NIGHT movie was really a waste of time and money! I wished they would have just modernized the original because at least there was a plot in that one. Oh well, at least I saw some good trailers of movies to come. Tonight the boys and I are going to the club for drinks and dancing. I refuse to stay home and hide from Quilter and Bi-Sexual Boyfriend (plus, I strongly doubt that they will be out tonight anyway!), so I am going dressed to kill.

WAR!

Today is Friday and I am afraid. Friday night is traditionally the night when friends and couples go out on the town and trip the lights fantastic, but not me. I have a minor ear infection and I have no desire to run into Jeremy and Sal tonight (or any other night). You see, I really am a coward. I try to act tough, but I just don't want to see them hugging or kissing again. Today is officially the anniversary of the day I was dumped and I just don't want to be reminded of that tonight by seeing them together. So, no more dancing at the clubs or going to the movies--I will just become a shadow and hide.

PROM NIGHT

Ah, yet another classic horror movie being "re-imagined" for the hip teenage audience. I actually love the original PROM NIGHT with Jamie Lee Curtis--love the plot, the disco music, and the whole concept. I think the trailer for this one is actually well done; it seems like it has the potential to be scary and suspenseful, but I would have liked to have seen it be rated R instead of PG-13. I would like to see "re-imagined" version of TOURIST TRAP--which scared the FUCK out of me when it would come on Creature Feature on Saturday afternoons.

THE BITCH ISN'T BACK

I'm sorry.

For the past few weeks, you all have been listening to me cry and bitch about the Quilter and Bi-Sexual Boyfriend. You've all been so supportive of me by talking to me on the phone, taking me out to breakfast, and checking up on me--especially since the drama of last Friday night. I have to admit that this has been a really hard chapter in my life: I'm dealing with the return of an evil co-worker, my mother's breast cancer, my lawsuits for my back and against my job, and sadly, my troubled relationship with ______.

I'm no saint. I have made mistakes in my relationship with _____, but have been nothing but honest with him in regards to my relationship with the Quilter. I had thought that after 10 years that I no longer wanted to be with ______, but _____ would like to see if maybe we can make things work and give our relationship another try and I am willing to do that. Not because the Quilter didn't want me, but because I still feel like I could learn to love ______ again if we both can work on it. He's a good man and those are really hard to find.

So, I'm sorry for being nasty and airing my dirty laundry for the world to read. That's not a reflection of my true character--I'd like to think that I am funny, sweet, friendly, and kind. I refuse to let the Quilter take that from me, becuase life is too damn short to waste on hate. I am blessed to have the amazing Tim, fantastic friends, great parents, and the uncanny ability to realize when enough is enough. I can't promise that I won't bitch about people or things again, but I will promise to start being in a better mood and stop dwelling on my hatred of the Quilter and Bi-Sexual Boyfriend.

Jeremy, for what it is worth, I forgive you and offer my appologies for making you the topic of my blogs. I hope that one day, you'll find the happiness that I always wished for you. Although I doubt that we will ever meet again, I hope that you will have a wonderful life and think fondly of the many good times that we had becuase those memories will stay with me forever. I have to forgive you Jeremy, becuase I have to forgive myself in order to move on. I really loved you and still probably do. God bless.

Do Not Read

Dear Quilter,
Wow! You really are a HUGE pussy! I'm shocked (well, not really!) to discover that you cancelled your MySpace account. Well, it is probably for the best--your page was quickly losing friends and pretty soon there would be no one on there anyway.
By the way, a lot of my fans have been asking me to define anal leakage. Anal leakage is simply when you cum in someones ass and their ass is sooooo loose that the cum (which is now mixed with shit) drips back out again, thus creating a strange orange color. Gross, huh?

BITTER

Dear Quilter,

Ah, what a weekend! I think I have finally begun to realize that our story is almost coming to an end. I use the word "almost" because the end will be when I will be able to look at you and laugh at the pathetic mess you are. You're a poor role model for your son becuase you're a liar and a coward, so hopefully your ex-wife will be able to introduce him to a proper male role model one day. I hope Bi-Sexual Boyfriend will have enough common sense to leave your anal leaking ass before you begin to corrupt his kid. All this time I thought that you were some poor victim, but now I know why he'd rather fuck women than fuck you--you're an evil person (while I am a bitter queen, eh?). At this point, I'm thinking that there is a reason why your mom abandoned you when you were little--because she knew that you had no soul and weren't worth loving. Oh, sure! You're financially successful and (at least I thought) attractive, but in the end, you'll end up all alone. Not all the money in the world will be able to buy you real love, but you know that. I'm lucky. I have great friends and the possibility of finding love again with a person who has never stopped loving me. Remember Quilter, that HELLFIRE LASTS FOREVER.

Titans Together!

It is almost 4 o'clock in the morning and I just can't seem to fall asleep. Paul, Alex, and John spent the entire day trying to cheer me up: we went to breakfast, went to see THE RUINS, went to the mall, went to Oil Can Harry's, and I am wiped out!

I've tried to put on my "happy face" for them, but this hurts so bad and I feel so stupid. This relationship with Quilter has hurt so many people. I feel like I've let down everyone, but I just can't seem to get Quilter out of my mind--which is sad because I know I'm not on his mind nor do I think he ever cared for me. I was just a distraction.

I'm sorry guys.

HELLFIRE DOES..

Dear Quilter,

Wow! It was so great to see you and Bi-Sexual Boyfriend at the bar last night. I wonder if he knows you've still been calling me up and telling me that you loved me? You couldn't take your eyes off of me--and I don't blame you! The text message today was priceless! Paul and I were laughing! Did you really think I was going to meet you for breakfast? Geez, you are an idiot and a coward, 'cause only a PUSSY sends a text telling someone not to call them ever again. Hey! No no wonder Bi-Sexual Boyfriend is with you! You're a PUSSY and that's what Bi-Sexual Boyfriend likes to eat! In case you're wondering, dear readers, I am a meat eater ONLY! Here's some advice for the future:

1. Stop wearing that fucking white pirate shirt! You look like a HUGE dipshit with that shirt and feathered hair.

2. Invest in Long John Silver's! Your man likes fish.

3. Don't say the following: Honey, girlfriend, or dear heart. You sound totally gay.

4. Your brother is SUPER cute. I hope to meet him.

5. Anal Leakage. Need I say more?

PAUL'S HOUSE

Dear Paul,

Thank you for letting me spend the weekend at your apartment while you are with Chris. Please hide all of your kinky sex pictures, whips, toys, etc--because I have the feeling it will be a really long weekend and I will be bored out of my skull. Thank you!

THE FUTURE IS NOW!

Dear Quilter,

Not that you ever took the time to figure out that I love comic books, but I do. Every Wednesday is "comic store day" and I get to leave my ordinary life for one filled with cosmic warriors and legendary battles. A lot of people will say that I'm too old to be reading comics (and you're probably one of them!), but I don't care. No matter what, I will always be me and no one can take that from me. You've been calling me a lot lately--telling me you FINALLY ended things with Bi-Sexual Boyfriend and that you love me. How can I believe you after all the lies and bullshit? I look over at ________ and wonder if maybe things are still workable. He never minded my comic books.

Black Queen's Logic

Alex! I found this picture of you!