Wednesday, February 25, 2009


When I was 19 years old I was invited to a party being thrown by a older gentleman and his much younger boyfriend. I was so happy to be invited that I went to the GAP and bought all new clothes for the event. At the party there was a lot of food and tons of alcohol. I didn't really know too many of the people at the party, so I was very flattered when the host took me by the hand and introduced me to people. Everyone he was introducing me to was "somebody" --publishers, lawyers, police officers, doctors, etc. They were all so nice to me and even though they were much older than me they all seemed to be so interested in what I had say. One gentleman pulled me aside and said "..So, you're the new twinkie?" I told that I didn't know what that meant and he told me that every year the host of the party invites all of his friends to meet the new crop of young guys. A twinkie was "young, dumb, and full of cum" and I thought that was disgusting and so I left the party. Now, flash forward to today, when I discovered that the hosts of the party gave money to support "Yes on 8". What the fuck? How does this happen?

Sunday, February 22, 2009


Today as I was driving with Paul to Target, I saw the
Quilter (Azreal) and Creepy Chris Bob (Garamel) walk
into the store. I told Paul that I had no problem going in,
but Paul insisted that we don't go in because it would only
cause drama, which is fine. I still feel some need to prove to other people that I'm not crazy because of my breakdown.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


What the fuck is up with people texting during movies? Tonight Paul and I went to see FRIDAY THE 13TH (yes, again!) and the theater was
packed with people. The girl in front of me was
texting every 5 seconds and the light from her
phone was distracting. Finally, I leaned over
and said "You know, that is really distracting.
Please stop using your phone." She didn't answer
me but I knew she was calling me every name in the
book. People--stay at home if you want to:
* Talk on your cell phone
* Quit texting
* You can't control your children
* You cannot control your bladder and have
to get up and do to the bathroom every five
fucking seconds

I'm sure if everyone follows the above rules we
will be okay. Thank you.

Friday, February 13, 2009


At last--the new Friday The 13Th was shown at midnight and the boys and I were first in line to see it. Now, I enjoyed the movie because it is "a F13 movie" and most of you know that I am a loyal fan of Jason, but is the movie good? Yes--if you like boobies shown for no reason at all, bloody ends for college students, and a great night out with your friends. This is not the classic Jason we have seen over the years. This Jason is smart and very fast, in fact, he chases his victims down! Of course, the college student fit the usual stereotype: the rich bitch, the whore, the druggie, and the innocent girl. The story is very simple--go to Camp Crystal Lake and you'll die! Derck Mears is an interesting Jason and I think he was good in his role. The movie does have a lot of problems, as some of the actors are terrible and you really don't have time to care for any of them. A lot of the death scenes have been done before (and better). Personally, I thought the intro to Jason was way to fast and didn't give the viewers a chance to "understand" why Jason is killing monster. The ending (which I will not spoil) is weak and of course, open to a sequel. The movie was fun--better than some of the crap that has come out this year. See it with your friends and have a good time.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Ah, the first review of the new Friday The 13th movie are starting to come in and it really isn't looking to good for the new movie. This review comes from Fangoria magazine, which gives the movie "2 Skulls out of 4 Skulls. "..The initial FRIDAY, there’s the briefly glimpsed backstory of the murderous Mrs. Voorhees, who lived by the machete and died just the same; from PART 2, there’s her grown son Jason established as a forest wild man with a sack over his head and a ramshackle home deep in the woods; from PART III, Jason has been given a more powerful physique and eventually acquires his trademark hockey mask; and from THE FINAL CHAPTER, the young victims-to-be are not camp counselors but vacationers, and the hero is a young man in search of his missing sister, an apparent victim of the marauding murderer.The new film also holds hard and fast to the rules of the slasher-franchise game. The first group of young people we’re introduced to (including the aforementioned sister Whitney, played by Amanda Righetti) do all the things guaranteed to inspire Jason’s wrath: taking drugs (or at least they plan to once they find the marijuana crop they’re seeking), having sex and singing along really loud to Night Ranger. Mr. Voorhees dispatches these interlopers right quick, and six weeks later, Whitney’s brother Clay (SUPERNATURAL’s Jared Padalecki) shows up in the area with a backpack full of missing-person flyers but gets no help from the squirrely locals. Meanwhile, a group of college buddies arrive for a stay at the waterside house of Trent (Travis Van Winkle), the designated jerk who nonetheless is the boyfriend of the designated nice girl (Danielle Panabaker). This gang also soon begins doing all the things guaranteed to inspire Jason’s wrath: taking drugs, having sex and topless waterskiing on Crystal Lake.Indeed, it’s hard to call this FRIDAY THE 13TH a remake, because virtually nothing in it has been remade, which is to say rethought or reconceived. Without being a shot-for-shot replication, it nonetheless adds no new wrinkles to the old formula; as the Jason fan I saw the movie with quite accurately pointed out, you could slip this film in between PART III and FINAL CHAPTER, and it would fit perfectly. Those devotees who ask for nothing more than the spectacle of Jason bumping off a fresh assortment of dimwitted/horndog kids (with plenty of gore and boobage unfettered by the MPAA concerns that plagued the Paramount sequels) will probably find the new FRIDAY more than satisfactory, and are welcome to bump the rating below up by a skull or more.But still, coming from the team (Platinum Dunes and director Marcus Nispel) who effectively and successfully revisited THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE several years back and kicked off the whole ’70s/’80s-remake trend in the first place, this FRIDAY is a disappointment. Surely they and scripters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, who worked a few nifty variations on the mythology into their FREDDY VS. JASON screenplay, could have given the diehards what they want while delivering something more creative, imaginative and witty. (The closest they come to an in-reference is a cop called Bracke, after author Peter of CRYSTAL LAKE MEMORIES, though his name is mispronounced.) Instead, the film is resolutely unsurprising and predictable; if you don’t know how the movie’s going to end after a visit to one character’s barn, you’ve probably never seen a film like this before. And the young protagonists are ciphers or stereotypes, hardly engendering the sympathy required to feel any real terror at their plight.Some slasherhounds say (and are already saying in this film’s defense) that caring about the characters and even being afraid for them is beside the point in a FRIDAY feature; the gory demises, watching Jason do his thing, is what it’s all about. To that end, newcomer to the role Derek Mears does do a fine job of conveying the required physical menace (fortunately, the filmmakers don’t seem to have taken seriously the claims of some of their number that Jason is really a tragic figure to be pitied as he callously slaughters everyone in sight). Though Mears moves faster than the slow-stalkin’ Voorhees of movies past, he’s not so active that he breaks continuity or dispels his power. The same cannot be said of Nispel and cinematographer Daniel C. Pearl’s camerawork, though, which too often favors shaky close-ups that make it hard to follow the action. And as far as the “creative killings” that became FRIDAY’s hallmark are concerned, this one peaks early, and the splatter, though graphic, doesn’t hit the heights of outrageousness that would really get crowds whooping and hollering.Instead, Nispel and composer Steve Jablonsky try to goose the viewer by accompanying Jason’s appearances with aural blasts that aren’t nearly subtle enough to be called stingers, and instead suggest the musical equivalent of a train hitting a stalled car. This in-your-ear approach gets real old real fast, and one yearns for the comparative grace notes of Harry Manfredini’s compositions for the earlier FRIDAYs. Potentially most disappointing for the buffs in the audience is the fact that his signature “ki, ki, ki, ma, ma, ma” sound effect, which is as essential an element of these movies as Jason himself, is only employed very sparingly here. Perhaps Nispel and co. eschewed its use in an attempt to separate their FRIDAY from its forebears—but if they were trying to give this film its own identity, they didn’t try nearly hard enough. Watching the end result, there’s never a compelling sense of why they remade FRIDAY THE 13TH in the first place."

Sunday, February 8, 2009


I can thank my best friend Alex for turning me on to Logo's Noah's Arc. It was easy for me to fall in love with all of the characters and it quickly became one of my favorite television shows. Although I was surprised when it was cancelled, I was happy to see that a Noah's Arc movie would be released to give the series a proper ending. Alex brought the movie "Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom" over to the house on Friday night and we watched it. It was terrible. The acting was bad, the plot was silly, and the characters lost all of their charm that made the show so special. The movie seemed like it didn't have a direction, so it was all over the place. I just hated it...

Thursday, February 5, 2009


I lost 1lbs!! For a new total of 225.0 lbs. Yay!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Paul and I went out to the Casa last Saturday night. As usual, the only music being played was rap music (which only the lesbians dance to for some reason). We sat down and I then looked up--right across from me was QUILTER and BI-SEXUAL BOYFRIEND! Fuck me! I caught his eye and waved and he came over. It was pretty obvious that he was getting a little drunk, so I wanted to make this as painless as possible. We gave each other a nice hug and talked for a few seconds. He touched my hair and told me that he liked it long. He even tried to talk to Paul, but Paul didn't even look at him. Later, more of our friends arrived and we soon left the Casa to go to some house party (yes, I know I am 36!). I was the evenings sober driver and had to watch Paul have a lot of fun with alcohol. The party was a lot of fun and Paul was harassed by some boy who wanted to dance to "Womanizer" with him when they played it and constantly called me Phil. It was a good time. The next day the Quilter called me at home to tell me how nice I looked and that it was really great to see. I told him that I really tried to say 'hello' to BI-SEXUAL BOYFRIEND, who I might add was looking at me most of the evening. The conversation ended nicely, but I still think I am in a much better place without him.