Monday, March 31, 2008

Dear Quilter,

I just wanted to let you know that I have the best friends in the entire world. If it weren't for them, I don't know how I would get through all this. They're always there for me when I need them--and Lord knows I have needed them a lot lately.

Alex/Cannonball: You always have a way to make me feel better about myself and I'm glad that our friendship has lasted so damn long. You've been my best friend and have always been there for me.

Paul/Wolfsbane: You've been so loyal to me and have become closer to me than my own brothers. I often make fun of your gentleness, but in actuality, I'm very jealous of it. You see the best in people and always make me laugh. I'm happy you've got Christopher.

John/Sunspot: You're a little dynamo--who reminds me of myself when I was your age. I'm glad you've hung around and are with me.

I Gave You My Love in Vain

Dear Quilter,

I didn't go to work today. Last night I had the worst case of diarrhea (damn my love of milk products!) and was up all night going to the bathroom, so I didn't really get much sleep. The nice thing is that I got on the scale in the bathroom today and it said 214 pounds--which is fucking awesome. After I took my shower, and was grabbing my clothes, I saw that beautiful Ralph Lauren shirt of yours hanging in my closet. I knew that I had to return it back to you soon because just looking at it reminded me of you. I gathered up the shirt you bought me for valentine's day, your Ralph Lauren shirt, and the unopened box of cereal you left and took them to your work.
On my way there, I called Paul and told him what I was doing. He told me not to do it--just go to your apartment and leave them on the doorstep. He's so sweet. I lied to him and told him that's exactly what I would do, but we all know that I wanted to see you. When I arrived at your shop, I noticed that Bi-Sexual Boyfriend's truck was in the parking lot. Oh well. When I came in, I saw your mom and Karen working. The both looked sad when they saw me. Your mom said "hi" and took the items from me. It was obvious that she wanted me to leave, which is what I did.
On my way home, I called Paul and confessed that I lied to him. He wasn't mad, but told me that I needed to forget about you and move on. Just as he said that, you called me. I quickly got off the phone with Paul and to talk to you. You seemed sad that I gave you my valentine present back, but if there's no you then there's no need to wear it. You told me that you called me at work to wish me a happy Monday and to tell me that you were thinking about me. Then you asked if you could call me tonight.
"Yes" was my answer to you, although I have no idea what we have to talk about any longer. You seem to have everything you want now: your son, a successful career, Bi-Sexual Boyfriend, the child of Bi-Sexual Boyfriend, and me out of your life. If you do call (which I don't think you will), please don't tell me that you want to be friends.
I don't.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The White Queen

I really wish they would make her bad again--she's my role model.

All I Needed Was A Simple Hello

Dear Quilter,

I wanted to hear from you today, but I'm glad you didn't call me. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I must have listened to Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam's "All Cried Out" about a 1000 times today. I'm glad you have your bi-sexual boyfriend to help you forget about me, 'cause let me tell you--this really sucks. I just thought I was so much smarter than this, but I'm not. You told me to bite my lip when I missed you. It doesn't seem to help..

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Run Fat Boy!

I'm so proud of myself for sticking to my diet and exercise program! I have already lost 6 pounds and have been running 1 mile everyday. Of course, when I run I imagine that I am running on the head of the Quilter and his bi-sexual boyfriend, so that makes it much easier. I miss fast food so damn much. I'd kill for a cheeseburger and french fries.

Friday, March 28, 2008


Dear Quilter,

I'm back.
Thank you so much for calling me the other night and apologize for making look like an asshole in front everyone. I was able to channel my hatred for you into our conversation that night. I needed it because I've been crying over you for far too long.
Oh! I forgot! My congratulations on becoming a daddy again! That's beautiful. One day, I hope to find a confused bi-sexual boyfriend who can't come to terms with his sexuality and proceeds to impregnate one of our friends because he doesn't know if he prefers cock or pussy. Personally, I prefer cock, but what do I know?
I pray that the baby is beautiful and healthy, because this child will serve me. That's right. The child will serve me. Because once I have forgotten all about you, you'll be thinking about the road you didn't choose. Every time you look at this baby it will be a reminder that you're SECOND BEST in your bi-sexual boyfriend's eyes. Every time the baby cries I hope it reminds you that your bi-sexual boyfriend was fucking a WOMAN on the bed that the two of you once made love in. I really hope your son loves his new baby brother or sister. I know I will.
Thanks for telling me that you really do love me. It warmed my heart knowing that you thought I was the man of your dream. It means nothing to me, but it was still nice to hear.
Although I know we will never talk again, I feel the need to thank you for letting me know that you're a terrible person this early in the game. Whew! I could never love a man who doesn't like scary movies. I would never feed ducks with a man who treated me like you did.


Dear Quilter,

I came to a realization that our relationship was over after you publicly humiliated me in front of your parents, employees, and your ex-boyfriend. Telling me that I needed to leave right away and go back to my car was so hurtful, but it really didn't seem to phase you as you said it. Thank God that I had Paul and Alex to talk to as I cried while I drove myself home, becuase I was quite upset. When I finally came home and composed myself, I realized that I was being foolish. You weren't good enough for me. You never were.

Oh, believe me! I am FAR from perfect. I've been in a relationship for 10 years that has been loveless and often lonely. You often told me how you never wanted to be a home wrecker (although that never stopped you from having sex with me, did it?) and that you felt guilty about hurting _______. What's funny is that you told me that you were no longer in love with your bi-sexual ex-boyfriend (although at this point, who knows what he was) but you were still fucking us both. The only thing is that you were fucking me over.

I fell for all of your bullshit. Saying that you wanted me to be your "duck feeder" who feed the ducks with you when you were old, or seeing your son graduate high school. Yup, I fell for it. I even told myself that you meant it when you told me that you loved me--even though I knew you were still fucking the bi-sexual ex-boyfriend. You told me you needed some space, so you didn't not return my many phone calls and you didn't see me for a week. Fuck! The signs were so obvious that Stevie Wonder fuckin' saw them!

I'm stupid. I still thought that you cared for me, but I realized that it was over. Alex told me that your grandmother was ill, so I wanted to come over and say that I was sorry. I also wanted to tell you that I wanted to be your friend, but you told me to just get in my car and leave. Oh! You did say you'd call me later that night and you did.

Only this time, I was ready.

My eyes were open and I was going to unleash all of my HATE on you.


Wednesday, March 26, 2008


I started this blog back in July of 2007 but over time lost my interest in keeping it up. I have decided to give my creativity in writing another try at it. I'm making it a fresh new start so welcome to anyone who may stumble upon my ramblings!!!