Friday, March 28, 2008


Dear Quilter,

I'm back.
Thank you so much for calling me the other night and apologize for making look like an asshole in front everyone. I was able to channel my hatred for you into our conversation that night. I needed it because I've been crying over you for far too long.
Oh! I forgot! My congratulations on becoming a daddy again! That's beautiful. One day, I hope to find a confused bi-sexual boyfriend who can't come to terms with his sexuality and proceeds to impregnate one of our friends because he doesn't know if he prefers cock or pussy. Personally, I prefer cock, but what do I know?
I pray that the baby is beautiful and healthy, because this child will serve me. That's right. The child will serve me. Because once I have forgotten all about you, you'll be thinking about the road you didn't choose. Every time you look at this baby it will be a reminder that you're SECOND BEST in your bi-sexual boyfriend's eyes. Every time the baby cries I hope it reminds you that your bi-sexual boyfriend was fucking a WOMAN on the bed that the two of you once made love in. I really hope your son loves his new baby brother or sister. I know I will.
Thanks for telling me that you really do love me. It warmed my heart knowing that you thought I was the man of your dream. It means nothing to me, but it was still nice to hear.
Although I know we will never talk again, I feel the need to thank you for letting me know that you're a terrible person this early in the game. Whew! I could never love a man who doesn't like scary movies. I would never feed ducks with a man who treated me like you did.


Christopher said...

Oh Snap!!! You are vicious...and I love it! May we always be friends!

I hope that any residual pain you're feeling quickly dies, and you can forget all about "what's his name".

Love, Amigo Bear!

Alex said...

Nothing last forever, my dear friend....But Hellfire sure does....HE HE HE HE HE!