Thank you so much for calling me the other night and apologize for making look like an asshole in front everyone. I was able to channel my hatred for you into our conversation that night. I needed it because I've been crying over you for far too long.
Oh! I forgot! My congratulations on becoming a daddy again! That's beautiful. One day, I hope to find a confused bi-sexual boyfriend who can't come to terms with his sexuality and proceeds to impregnate one of our friends because he doesn't know if he prefers cock or pussy. Personally, I prefer cock, but what do I know?
I pray that the baby is beautiful and healthy, because this child will serve me. That's right. The child will serve me. Because once I have forgotten all about you, you'll be thinking about the road you didn't choose. Every time you look at this baby it will be a reminder that you're SECOND BEST in your bi-sexual boyfriend's eyes. Every time the baby cries I hope it reminds you that your bi-sexual boyfriend was fucking a WOMAN on the bed that the two of you once made love in. I really hope your son loves his new baby brother or sister. I know I will.
Thanks for telling me that you really do love me. It warmed my heart knowing that you thought I was the man of your dream. It means nothing to me, but it was still nice to hear.
Although I know we will never talk again, I feel the need to thank you for letting me know that you're a terrible person this early in the game. Whew! I could never love a man who doesn't like scary movies. I would never feed ducks with a man who treated me like you did.