I didn't go to work today. Last night I had the worst case of diarrhea (damn my love of milk products!) and was up all night going to the bathroom, so I didn't really get much sleep. The nice thing is that I got on the scale in the bathroom today and it said 214 pounds--which is fucking awesome. After I took my shower, and was grabbing my clothes, I saw that beautiful Ralph Lauren shirt of yours hanging in my closet. I knew that I had to return it back to you soon because just looking at it reminded me of you. I gathered up the shirt you bought me for valentine's day, your Ralph Lauren shirt, and the unopened box of cereal you left and took them to your work.
On my way there, I called Paul and told him what I was doing. He told me not to do it--just go to your apartment and leave them on the doorstep. He's so sweet. I lied to him and told him that's exactly what I would do, but we all know that I wanted to see you. When I arrived at your shop, I noticed that Bi-Sexual Boyfriend's truck was in the parking lot. Oh well. When I came in, I saw your mom and Karen working. The both looked sad when they saw me. Your mom said "hi" and took the items from me. It was obvious that she wanted me to leave, which is what I did.
On my way home, I called Paul and confessed that I lied to him. He wasn't mad, but told me that I needed to forget about you and move on. Just as he said that, you called me. I quickly got off the phone with Paul and to talk to you. You seemed sad that I gave you my valentine present back, but if there's no you then there's no need to wear it. You told me that you called me at work to wish me a happy Monday and to tell me that you were thinking about me. Then you asked if you could call me tonight.
"Yes" was my answer to you, although I have no idea what we have to talk about any longer. You seem to have everything you want now: your son, a successful career, Bi-Sexual Boyfriend, the child of Bi-Sexual Boyfriend, and me out of your life. If you do call (which I don't think you will), please don't tell me that you want to be friends.