FROM THE ASHES...

Quilter calls me yesterday because he claims that he wanted to hear from me that he wasn't supposed to talk to me. He told me that he has my HEROES season 1 and other items that he wants to give me. I told him that he should just give it to Alex. He then asked me why I was doing this--because it isn't fair to him. He asked me why did I kiss him that night and why couldn't I just have been his friend. He said that he misses coming over on Friday nights for scary movies and that he misses Alex and Paul (yes, he did mention Paul!). Quilter than said our timing was wrong and I told him that wasn't true--this entire time has been a joke because he is still in love with Bi-Sexual Boyfriend. He admitted to me being right. All this time that I thought he missed me and told me that he loved me was a LIE. He's always wanted to be with Bi-Sexual Boyfriend, but Bi-Sexual Boyfriend just doesn't want him. He then told me he had to go and hung the phone up on me. What I didn't realize was that Paul suspected it was Quilter on the phone and he was listening to our conversation. Later that night Paul and Alex asked me why I was talking to him, and I just lost it. I started crying and once again became very depressed. Paul was really pissed off at the Quilter because they had agreed that Quilter was not supposed to call me. Right now, I am really hurting. I'm sorta lost and just want the pain to go away. Sometimes I think that I am terrible person and that I deserve everything that happens to me. I hope the end of my story is near...