MORLOCKS

I simply have no fucking luck. I decided to go to the mall today and return some presents that Tim did not care for. Parking was a total nightmare, but as I was walking in I passed a very handsome Latin guy who looked very familiar to me. It then hit me! It was Bi-Sexual Boyfriend! Now, I have to give it up for Bi-Sexual Boyfriend-- as I never thought of him as being so nice looking. It was a matter of minutes until I saw the Quilter--who gave me a venomous look of hate. With that, I began to attack myself--I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm stupid, etc. I haven't shaved in weeks, I have a pot belly, I didn't comb my hair, and I looked like shit! This was the last thing that I wanted to see.