I know that I have been chasing after someone who cannot or will not be caught--and I have been allowing myself to go on an emotional roller coaster every time he returned to my life. I think I love Quilter, but I realized that Bi-Sexual Boyfriend was the one he really wants and I am going to lose to him every time. This has been tough dealing with Quilter and battling my depression, but I know I have done the right thing by telling him that this ride has to come to an end for me. I'm proud of myself. Tomorrow I am going to that fucking party as myself and I am going to ROCK IT!