BRAWL AT THE 80's

I was invited by The Quilter's current boyfriend Potato-Head to attend an "80's Prom" last Friday night. The prom was at a popular bar, so I took my boys Alex and Jon with me. When we got there, the first think I noticed was that everyone was in costume (80's styles) and Potato-Head and Quilter were both in tuxedos with ruffles (which were not in style in the 80's, but whatever...). Knowing that perhaps this was perhaps a set up, I took off my jacket to reveal my GOONS t-shirt. I loved the music the band was playing, so I grabbed Alex by the hand and proceeded to lead him to the dance floor where we danced the entire night away--much to the dismay of Potato-Head who noticed that The Quilter couldn't get off my jock. They ended up leaving, but we continued to dance the night away. The next day, Potato-Head called to see if he could come over the comic book store to talk to me (I said "yes", but he never came). I'm finding that facing my fears instead of running away from them all of the time is working out much better for me. I have no clue as to why it was so important to Potato-Head to invite me, but I'm sure glad that he did.

Girlfight Tonight

Divas!

You would not believe the wild night I had with Paul and Alex last night! Quilter and (new boyfriend) Greg came to the night club last night to try and get some sort of a reaction out of me, but failed! Why? Because when they were making out or dancing closely to me Alex and Pual bloked them so I couldn't see them--and they ended up leaving. For those of you who are new to the story, I had met Greg a while back when he was dating one of Juan's friends. I thought he was such a sweet guy, until he started seeing Quilter. He sent me several texts that night asking what club I was going to be at and when he saw me, he made a large production over giving me a hug! Kids, I might be ugly, fat, and bald--but I'm sure as fuck not that stupid to believe he really wants to be friends with me. I don't think I have ever been that vindictive to act like I'm your friend, when all along I'm just trying to cause drama. I'm so glad that Paul and Alex didn't let me see the show. I feel so much stronger than I have in a long time. I love my friends!

Party

Tonight I went to the birthday party of an old friend from my days at Target. It was really nice to see all of them and bring Alex and Tim along for the ride. Afterwards, Alex and I wanted to go dancing, but that was impossible due to the fact that the music sucked and there were 3 fights! After an hour and a half--we split. I was afraid that I was going to run into the Quilter and Greg for most of the night. What was I going to say? What was I going to do? I know in my heart that I made the right decision on staying with Tim--I just wished it didn't hurt so bad. Is something lacking in my life/relationship that's causing me to make decisions that hurt people? I'm not getting any younger, but I often feel like I am trapped in my early 20's--not knowing what to do.
I wish there was a book that would tell me what to do in cases like these.

TIME FOR CHANGE

Faithful readers of my blog know about the problems that Tim and I have been having in our relationship. I told my parents that I was leaving him and my mother asked me if I was walking away knowing that I tried 100% to make the relationship work. It shocked me when she said that because I know that I had not been. With the Quilter (yes, him again) in the picture I have been thinking about my life and future with him than I had with Tim. I wrote the Quilter a very nice letter--asking him not to call me anymore, because I wanted to devote my energies towards Tim and make sure that I gave him 100% of myself before I called it quits. I'm really proud of myself. I sometimes think that I love the Quilter, but usually I find that I'm in love with a lot of smoke and mirrors that the Quilter gives me. I love Tim so much and the only way to make it work is to cut out the parts of my life that were getting in the way of things. I think I did the right thing.

This picture makes me feel good.